Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Beach Isn't Yours, Greenwich Village Bitch.

I'm talking about you, Greenwich Village, New York. I was in Speech class today, and we saw this video about a beach in said town that only allows Greenwich residents in the beaches only. And for proof of that, you needed to have a residency permit. Otherwise, "get the hell out of our beach. We pay the taxes, blah blah blah."

Anyways, the clip had this amazing woman who, just like me, decided to defy the rules and law. So she gets a bunch of out of city people on a bus and heads there. They first try to get in through the main entrance, letting the people at the ticket stand know that they want in at the beach for some fun time. As soon as they let them know they didn't have residency passes, "fuck off, go away." So they tried plan B:

Head in there by water. So they got on boats, and they almost made it till the Coast Guard and Greenwich Village was on their tails. They tried out-boating them, but to no prevail. So what did these daring rebels of society do?

They abandoned ship. But not to quit. To swim to the beach shores!

But as soon as they got there, they were greated by residents just standing there with a look that says "What do you outsiders think you're doing here on "our" beach?" They were pissed off, dude, and basically telling them that unless they actually owned property in Greenwich, they had to get the hell of "their" beach. Even the cops were there ready to arrest these daredevils. But even the daredevils let them know "with this kind of friendly welcome, I'd love to live here." I could tell the villagers knew what that meant. They had no choice but to leave.

Here's what I would've said and done:

"You rich bastards don't own this beach. No one owns land. If you guys are as Christian as you claim to be, you'd realize that God intended all lands and waters to belong to all of us, everyone on earth, even the most lowly beggar." I would've dared those cops to even touch me. I'd just walk in there with a boombox blasting Slayer music and screaming like a deathmetal head "Partay at the beach, suckas!"

I wouldn't be surprised if they were also a bunch of racist hicks who are hypocrical to our Christian God. I'll bet you all my money (not really) that it's true.

Luckly, the Supreme Court is trying to get rid of their stupid law. And when they do, I'm gonna head over there and party my ass off. I'll clean up after myself, of course. But no one tells me what beach I can and can't go to. We all own the beach, not you rich tight-asses.

If any of you are from Greenwich and have a problem with me, feel free to email me. Feel free to find me, too. I'll take you down and spit on your face and tear it apart with my eagle talons. Go ahead and even touch me. Get ready because I'm heading to your beach, baby! I DARE YOU TO FUCKIN TOUCH ME!!!!!

Why do I feel so passionately about this? Because when it comes to most rules, especially dumb rules like this as well as anti-immigration, I'm naturally bound to reverse psychology and rebellion. That's why.

So you can try to stop me, but you'll end up with talon marks on your face.