Thursday, May 26, 2011

Wake Up Dead

(Title inspired by song of same title by Megadeth)

The day I died, heart ripped out by a bite from the she-wolf in sheep's clothing, I became a ghost, lost of pride and heart. A former man now casting away his shell, never again to walk among the happy living.

I curse those with happy hearts, their souls contained in warmth, joined by hand, my arms, by lips. Everyday, I float among the living with constant reminders of the cause of my death and what I lost with it.

You say you didn't mean to be so cold. Your actions and words say otherwise today. You're an ice queen.

As far as I'm concerned, I should decide not to waste further time with someone who lies, teases, and with whom I hold no future with. A bitter price to pay for making me wake up dead.

As for me, I'll eventually go beyond the realms of death, where I'll never again be reminded of the happiness I lost in the living world. Everyday, I'll wake up dead.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Fuck Love Forever

I was a fool to think that this would ever last forever. It's all lies, all fake, fake promises.

Who would've thought a beautiful woman like her would've fallen for a loser like me? I should've learned my lesson years ago.

Love is just only meant for eternity. And it's only meant for a select group of people, like the 144,000 that will rule the earth with Christ.

If love is just meant to only last a little bit and just end with hundreds and hundreds of heartbreak, then I'm done looking. I'd rather remain a lonely virgin for life than experience heartbreak over and over again in my life. It's less pain, right? I'd rather not waste my time. All that talk of marriage and having children and being together and never leaving, all that's a bunch of bull crap that's revealed, in the end, and you realize that you wasted many precious moments and resources for nothing but pain and feelings of suicide that you'll get over and over again. I'd rather avoid all that.

Fuck love forever.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Don't Deserve.....

I don't deserve happiness
I don't deserve life
I don't deserve death
I don't deserve heaven
I don't deserve hell
I don't deserve God
I don't deserve Satan
I don't deserve purgatory
I don't deserve existence
I don't deserve feelings
I don't deserve a heart
I don't deserve love
I don't deserve Mika
I don't deserve our baby girl
I don't marriage
I don't deserve eternity
I don't deserve a ring or wedding
I don't deserve her eternal loyalty and companionship and love
I don't deserve to fly
I don't deserve the 3 sacred words
I don't deserve promises

I don't deserve shit.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, January 21, 2011


I've always found solace in the friendship of women.